Round Rock
by EricaBennet
Summary: Dean and Sam Winchester (and Castiel) settle down in Texas to live a normal life, but like the old saying goes, you can take the boy out of the hunt, but you can't take the hunt out of the boy. They end up crossing paths with characters from Shameless, Dexter, Psych, Marvel, and more. Rated M for language (so far)
1. Welcome to Round Rock

**Chapter 1: Welcome to Round Rock**

 **Authors' note:** This fic is written by two sisters who passed around a spiral notebook to write at work on lunch breaks to see how many of our favorite series we could cram into one story without it going bananas. only lets you put it in two categories, but there will be Supernatural, Shameless, Gotham, Dexter, Marvel (the minor characters) and more. We hope you enjoy reading it b/c we've had a blast writing it and comments are very appreciated!

"Cas," Dean groaned, half asleep as he made his way to the coffee pot, scratching the inside of his pajama bottoms.

The entire cabinet above the coffee pot was covered in colorful post-it notes. They read things like 'How to answer a cell phone' and 'How to turn on the cable television' followed by lengthy, detailed instructions.

Luckily, coffee was already brewing and the kitchen was spotless. It was a perk-Castiel living them, Dean had decided. He and Sam were giant slobs and just the two of them could make a movie and pizza night look like a sixteen-person party had occurred. Castiel cleaned-really cleaned- and every morning so far in the new house had been a breath of fresh air and clean counter tops.

He sat at the kitchen bar, scrolling through his phone as he waited for coffee. It still felt strange being in one place for more than three days, but Dean enjoyed it.

After he'd poured a cup of coffee, he continued to look through odd news stories happening in the area. The apocalypse had been averted (for now) and with Sam and Dean both being cursed in different ways and the growing number of hunters, they'd been advised to lay low for a while-something they'd never done. Take a break from hunting? They may as well take a break from life.

Now here they were-Dean, Sam, and Castiel-living in the small town of Round Rock, Texas in a house, with jobs. Real jobs.

Sam had the education and degree and was currently working as a teacher at the local elementary school. Dean teased him about it, but good-naturedly. Dean had found a labor job working at the local plant. His supervisors feared him taking their jobs soon because he was physically strong and surprisingly disciplined. He also made more money than Sam, which he also teased his brother about. Castiel had found work at a florist shop near the house run by a woman who was almost as old as Jesus, but sweet on the fallen angel constantly reminding him 'what a sweet boy' he was.

The trip had even adopted a Doberman mix rescue named Joe from the local shelter. They were truly living the picket fence life, oddly enough, all together.

Joe trotted over to Dean and nudged his big wet nose against Dean's naked stomach.

"Hey, Buddy," Dean said, scratching him behind the ear before taking another swig of coffee. "Who's Daddy's buddy?"

"You're up early," Sam said, entering the kitchen, a bath robe over his T-shirt and pajama pants.

"Dude, I have to be at work at five," Dean reminded him, letting Joe steal a lick of black coffee.

"What are _you_ doing up so early?" He asked Sam.

"I'm gonna go check out that abandoned house over on Ridge and Woodsong," Sam said, moving to pour himself from coffee.

Dean stared at him, brows furrowed.

"You should've told me," he said. "I would've made plans to go with you."

Sam sat next to him at the bar.

"You can't afford to miss work," he told him. "And it's probably just a run of the mill haunting anyway. Not really a two-man job."

"Yeah..." Dean nodded, looking down. "You're right."

They drank their coffee in silence for the next five minutes or so and then Dean finally said, "You know, it's weird. We spent our whole lives resenting Dad for raising us like this and now that we're free from all of it-"

"We go looking for it," Sam finished. "Yeah it's weird, but then again, it's us. That need to protect people is in us."

He frowned and said, "I didn't know you resented Dad for that."

"A little," Dean said begrudgingly, taking another sip of coffee. He slid off the bar stool and slapped Sam on the back.

"Let me know how it goes," he said before disappearing down the hall to shower and dress.

When he returned in his coveralls, Sam was already gone and Castiel was already in the kitchen, fully dressed even though his shift at the florist didn't start until eight-thirty.

"Good morning, Dean," he said, sipping his own coffee as he put away Sam and Dean's empty cups into the dishwasher.

"Morning," Dean muttered, moving past him to grab his keys. He eyed Castiel's post-it collection.

"So how's the human life treating you?" He asked him.

"I have some of my powers back," Castiel admitted. "I stopped sleeping again."

"Then why the coffee?" Dean wanted to know.

"Force of habit," Castiel said with an innocent shrug.

"Sammy, uh, went on a little tour of the spooky house on Ridge," Dean told him. "Wonder if he'll find anything good."

Before Castiel good give him some life lesson about how lucky they were to be living normal lives, Dean headed out the door and climbed into the Impala-the only familiar thing left in his life. He layed his head on the steering wheel for a few seconds and then picked it back up and started the engine. Life didn't stop just because hunting monsters did.

He stopped at the local taco shop to grab breakfast and was greeted by the same girl who always greeted him.

"Two bacon, egg, potato, and cheese-a la mexicana," she called to the back.

"Uh oh," Dean said, handing her his debit card-with his real legal name and earnings on it. "I'm a regular."

"You and about eight percent of the other plant workers," she told him. "But I also have a sharp memory so..." she handed him the receipt. "I'll just need your autograph here."

Dean signed it and passed it back.

"These breakfast tacos are great," he said. "I wish we had them back home."

"Where's back home?" She asked, passing him his copy of the receipt.

"Kansas," He told her. "But I've lived everywhere. Hoping to make Texas my home."

"Yeah, it's a great place to call home," she agreed, handing him a brown paper bag with tacos inside.

Dean took the bag and turned to leave then turned back.

"So if I'm gonna be a regular," he said casually. "I should probably learn your name so I can come in and do the whole 'Hey...Trixie! How's it goin?' thing."

"Trixie?" She scoffed softly. "That would be your first guess?"

"Ramona?"

"Lee," she said.

"Lee? Like Ashl-ley? Nata-lie?"

"It's just Lee," she said, tucking some rust-colored curls behind her ear.

"Ah. Well, Lee I'm-"

"You'll be late, Dean," she said with a wink.

* * *

"Mr. Winchester!" Sarah cried running over to Sam. "Jacob keeps taking my puzzle piece!"

"It's not hers!" Jacob said, hovering over his own floor puzzle protectively. "She's doing the waterfall puzzle and I'm doing the jungle. Mine has a waterfall too!"

Sam sighed and silently questioned his agreeing to teach Kindergarten until a higher grade level position opened up. He made his way over and squatted down.

"Sarah, I think Jacob's right. Your waterfall has more white on it and his has more blue." He showed her the blue piece, and then took a ruler from a nearby center table and placed it between their puzzles.

"You guys ever see this happen at the grocery store to keep groceries from getting mixed up?" He asked them. "Problem solved."

Sarah hugged him.

"Thanks, Mr. Winchester!" She said, going back to her puzzle.

The other kindergarten teacher whose class was adjacent to Sam's only separated by a closet where they could go to and from each other's room, stepped in through the closet door. Her students were currently taking their turn in PE class. She handed Sam a Starbucks cup.

"Kyle's mom bought a round of coffee for the kindergarten staff," she explained, and then added more quietly, "I think it's to appease us after he k-i-l-l-e-d the class hamster."

Sam took a sip. "Thanks, Abigail."

"That's not Abigail!" Jacob frowned. "That's Ms. Lytar!"

Sam smiled and explained, "Lytar is her last name, and to you she's Ms. Lytar, but teachers can call each other by their first names."

"What's your first name?" Jeremiah asked him.

"Sam," Sam told him.

"But you all call him Mr. Winchester," Abigail Lytar told them.

After the kindergartners were done being nosy, Abigail told Sam, "We'll miss you when you move up to higher education. Especially some of these mothers."

She chuckled as she sipped at her own coffee. Sam frowned, confused.

"I saw how many friended you on Facebook," Abigail said.

"Some dads too," Sam pointed out.

"You mean the dads that are married to other dads?" Her face was serious, but her eyes were smiling.

"Shut up," Sam scoffed playfully and a chorus of "Ums" rang out.

"I mean..." Sam faltered and then sighed in frustration.

"We're moving your Behavior Bear to red, Mr. Winchester," Abigail told him in a very teacher-like voice.

"No treasure box for you on Friday," Marcus added.

Sam clapped his hands.

"Alright, Guys! Let's clean up the room. It's almost our turn for PE!" He said.

As Abigail turned to leave to go fetch her own students, Sam said, "Oh, hey. I saw you were taking off next week. Everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah." Abigail seemed surprised by his interest. "My parents are renewing their vows so I'm flying out to Santa Barbara to be there."

"So you're not from here?" Sam guessed.

"You're not either," she replied, smiling. "I heard you mispronounce the name Jesus."

She meant, of course, the Hispanic name pronounced 'Hey-Suess'.

"Is this humiliate Sam Winchester day?" Sam asked. "Because there wasn't a memo in my teacher mailbox."

Abigail laughed and Sam raised his Starbucks cup to her.

"Thanks for the coffee," he said.

"Kyle's mom," sh reminded him.

"Right, the hamster k-i-l-l-e-r," he said, nodding.

After Sam got his class to clean up the room and lined them up at the door for gym class, he opened the door and waved to Ms. Lytar's class, who was returning from the gymnasium. They waved back excitedly, and a few of them even got out of line to give him a hug. He couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt that even though he was finally free from hunting, he wasn't really helping these children by teaching them the alphabet. He would really be helping saving their lives from evil.

* * *

"Hey, Steven!" Suzanna bubbled, entering the flower shop.

Castiel nearly dropped the two boxes of plant food he was carrying. Suzanna was their next door neighbor. Their very beautiful next door neighbor. She had about five pounds of dark chocolate curls, perfect white teeth, and bright eyes. She started looking around the shop.

"Is there..." Castiel began, trying not to sound too creepy. "Anything I can help you find?"

"Hm?" She looked at him. "Oh. Sure. I'm looking for something that says 'new mom'."

"Are you a new mom?" Castiel asked stupidly, having seen her almost everyday since they'd moved into the house and she was never pregnant or walking in or out with a baby.

"My sister," she explained, smiling. "I have a nephew. My first."

Castiel hopelessly began looking around. For the most part, flowers all looked the same to him. He just took orders, rang them up, and watered the plants.

"If it helps," Suzanna said. "She's not a rose person. Lilies are her thing."

Castiel bobbed his head up and down.

"Lilies..." he repeated gruffly under his breath and tried to remember which flowers were lilies. All of the flowers were labeled, but he didn't want to come off too obvious reading the tags. Suzanna watched him, shifting uncomfortably.

"Maybe Casablanca Lilies? Do you have those? They're my favorite," she added helpfully.

"Oh, yes, Casablanca Lilies. Of course." Castiel smiled pointedly at her.

He strolled over the computer/register.

"Let me just check our inventory," he said.

Suzanna smiled patiently and looked around the shop. Castiel could feel his armpits getting damp as he opened the homepage browser on the internet. He typed ' ' with one finger into the search bar, not realizing the homepage was already set to google. He very slowly clicked on the 'image' link and began to methodically type 'casablanca lilies'. He looked up for a second and caught Suzanna's eyes.

"Um," she began nervously, but then Castiel winked at her.

'Just like in the movies', he thought to himself in his raspy voice.

Finally, dozens of images popped up of flowers. He instantly recognized them.

"Oh, yes. We have plenty of these," he told her, and swiftly moved from behind the counter and turtled his way over to the correct flowers. Suzanna followed him and stood by him, looking like she'd been waiting to say something. Castiel realized she had been trying to let him know she'd already found them. He hung his head a little.

"How much do you need?" He asked her.

"Just a dozen," she replied, still looking at the flowers.

Castiel led her to the register where she paid and he carefully bundled and cut the flowers.

"Have a good day," he choked out.

"Thanks, you too," Suzanna said, and started to leave.

She stopped at the door and said, "Um, I'm having a barbecue tonight. You and your...housemates...are welcome to come. It starts at seven."

Castiel stared at her blankly.  
"Yes, I will go," he replied solemly, and then smiled a big, toothy grin.

Suzanna's cheeks flushed. "Okay, see you then."

As soon as the door closed, Castiel let out a sigh.

"She hates me," he muttered to himself.

* * *

Dean's Impala rumbled loudly as he pulled into the driveway, the windows down and music blasting. He shut off the ignition and leaned back in his seat, exhausted. He closed his eyes for just a second and stretched his arms, then ran his hands all through his hair. Bits of dirt and dried oil that had settled into his hair throughout the day fluttered down all around him.

"Ugh, man. I'm beat." He tossed his safety goggles that had been resting in the passenger seat into the glove compartment, then started manually rolling up the windows of the car. As he rolled up the driver's side windows, he noticed one of the neighbors watching him. It was a skinny, older man in a bathrobe, standing in the driveway of the house next door on the left.

Dean sat up straight and frowned. The neighbor turned and started slowly walking up the driveway.

"What a weirdo," he muttered.

After all, that guy had invited them to a cat show when they first moved in, complete with a _mailed_ invitation even though he lived next door. Dean let himself in the house and knew Sam was out walking Joe because there had not been any barking when he'd unlocked and opened the front door. And no big paws and wet tongue to greet him.

* * *

"I'm telling you, there's something weird about them," Darcy told Jane over the phone. "All three of them, and not just the fact that they're three hot dudes living together."

"Do you think they might be involved in something evil?" Jane asked, far away in New Mexico.

"Dude, they're involved in _something,_ " Darcy said, peeking through her blinds where she could catch a glimpse of their driveway. "I caught the oil and rags one taking a friggin' machete out of the trunk."

"Well, just be careful," Jane told her. "Just because you work for SHIELD now doesn't make you a super human. You just find and track them."

"Gee, thanks, Mom," Darcy replied sarcastically, moving away from the window.

"This other neighbor-the normal one- is having a barbecue tonight," she said. "She invited me."

"Maybe the other ones will be there too," Jane suggested.

"Who? The freak trio?" Darcy asked, moving to the kitchen to look around in the fridge. There was a jar of pickles soaking in Kool Aid, a container of eggs, and some mustard.

"Yeah, I'll definitely be going to that barbecue," she told Jane.

"Okay, well let me hang up because you know who just got home and I'm taking him bowling," Jane said.

"Sounds potentially dangerous," Darcy replied casually. "Have fun with that."

* * *

"I swear when I catch this guy I'm going to make him suffer," Carlton said, pulling a cereal bowl out of the fridge. It was filled with milk, but instead of cereal, there were Oreos floating in it.

"Carlton," Juliet said, sighing as she unloaded more groceries. "This isn't a walk in the park for me either, but this serial killer wants us dead. You, me, Shawn, and Gus."

"We could have handled this back in Santa Barbara-" Carlton interjected, but his partner wasn't having it.

"They blew up the Psych office!" She reminded him hotly. "They took pictures of me while I was sleeping. They stalked Gus on his runs..."

She stopped, visibly shaken, and Carlton had to remind himself that she was right. Their mysterious assailant-only calling himself 'Red' had something against the four of them and seemed to know where they were at all times and what they were doing. Chief Vick could no longer guarantee their safety and helped them to transfer-the only thing available on such short notice was the Round Rock police department-a sardine can compared to the Santa Barbara police department. Just to be safe, their caseloads were currently being kept light and they were only allowed to take on the most boring of cases. Mostly they just did paperwork. Also, 'just to be safe', the chief of police in Round Rock had paid for a rent house-almost like Witness Protection, and the four of them were living in it. Carlton wanted to kill himself.

"And besides," Juliet said. "This is only temporary."

"It had better be," Carlton grumbled neutrally.

Living with Detective O'Hara was fine, but Shawn and Gus...

"Oh, good!" Shawn chirped as he and Gus came in through the front door. "You two are home!"

"Don't call it that," Carlton growled.

"Oh, good! You two are safe-house!" Shawn repeated in the exact same tone he'd just used. "Gus and I just received our first official Psych case."

"A private case?" Juliet asked, brows furrowed.

"The neighbor, Jerry, actually, " Shawn said.

"That creepy middle-aged guy with all the cats," Gus added casually.

"Nice cats," Shawn said. "And pretty nice guy, despite the urine odor. He flips houses and convinced us that one is haunted."

"Haunted?" Juliet repeated.

"The spirits are a buzz," Shawn said, putting his hands to his temples in a dramatic way. "Because they're filled with bees, and those other-spectrum bees are telling me that we should most definitely take this case."

"Guys, we've been very sternly advised to lay low," Juliet reminded them. "If this Red thing gets any more serious, the FBI will hunt us down and put us in real Witness Protection."

"But this is a private case," Gus argued, frowning. "It's our own client."

Shawn opened the fridge to retrieve the Oreo and milk bowl. He began eating it with a spoon, hopping up to sit on the kitchen counter.

"Who knows?" He shrugged. "We might need an extra set of hands. Maybe two. Maybe a tail."

Juliet and Carlton exchanged wary looks. It did sound intriguing and pushing papers and staying home most of the week had started to drive them crazy.

"Anyway," Shawn said, hopping back down. "The cutie named Suzy next door has invited us to a barbecue. I don't know about you two, but when a pretty girl offers me meat cooked outdoors, I don't say no."

"You know that's right," Gus said, and then abruptly frowned at Shawn. "And she asked _me_. I'm just inviting you along as my wing man."

"Gus, we were both checking the mail," Shawn said.

"No we weren't. We were trying to get that Bop It off the roof. That Skip It you threw up there to try and bring it down fell and hit her car," Gus countered.

"But I checked the mail later," Shawn said. "And what does it matter? She invited us. I think I'm going to wear my blue Nordstrom shirt. It brings out my eyes."

"You mean _my_ blue Nordstrom shirt?" Gus asked.

"Okay, enough!" Carlton snapped. "God, sometimes I'd rather just be in Witness Protection than here with you clowns."

"I thought this was Witness Protection," Shawn said. "And trust me, if we really were clowns, you would not feel safe."

"A barbecue actually sounds kind of fun," Juliet said. "Ooh! I could make my famous banana pudding!"

Carlton grumbled something under his breath and walked away.

"What's with him?" Gus asked.

"He's just suffering from cabin fever," Juliet explained. "It's hard for him to be so far away from home and not working real cases."

Shawn said, "Poor us."

Juliet frowned and asked, "You don't feel trapped like this?"

"Come on, Jules, please!" Shawn laughed, but there was the slightest trace of nervousness in his voice.

"Juliet's right, you know," Gus said after she left the room, shaking her head in disgust. "We're not really happy here."

"Gus, don't be that anti-piracy ad at the start of a DVD," Shawn said. "We'll figure out who...Red... is and we'll stop him-just like have every other criminal."

He sighed and added, "I just wish Jules and Lassie weren't up our butts twenty-four seven. With them around, I can't sleuth normally."

"I don't know, Shawn," Gus told him. "This one might be better left to the feds. Red knows a lot about us."

"Okay, could you and Jules stop talking about him like he's so clever?" Shawn asked. "For starters, he calls himself 'Red'-not even something like 'Red Fire' or 'Red Lightning', just 'Red' and second, being a good tailer doesn't make you dangerous."

"He blew up our office!" Gus reminded him.

"Or so he said, in a note," Shawn replied. "I leave several appliances on at once all the time. I had fireworks in the store closet. I let people smoke inside. There could be a million ways it blew up and he just took credit for it."

"So what?" Gus countered. "You and Lassiter are just willing to fall into one of his traps? Get killed?"

"Whoa, now you're talking killers?" Shawn scoffed.

"The man is a serial killer, Shawn!"

"Why? Because he took credit for murders that never went unsolved?" Shawn asked.

"I'm not investigating him, Shawn," Gus said sternly.

Shawn rolled his eyes.

"And neither are you."

Shawn blinked. "Come again?"

"You're my best friend," Gus said. "And I care about you, so if I find out you're investigating, I'll tell Lassie and Juliet."

"You'd knark on me?" Shawn laughed.

"I'm not laughing, Shawn," Gus told him. "I'm serious."

They stared at each other for several seconds and finally Shawn relaxed, blowing air through his lips in a raspberry fashion.

"Okay, Buddy," he said. "No investigating. Not if you're that worried."

"Thank you," Gus said. "Now let's get ready to impress Suzanna."

"I have first dibs," Shawn said as they left the kitchen. "After all, it was my Skip It that cracked her windshield."

* * *

Castiel allowed Dean to pick out an outfit, spray him down with cologne, and primp him hair. Dean concentrated hard-his tongues sticking out of his mouth on one side.

"This is a bad idea," Castiel said, pulling away. "Look at me, Dean."

Dean took a step back and cocked his head slightly.

"You look good," he argued, sounding slightly offended that Castiel wasn't pleased with his handywork.

"Suzanna wouldn't want to go on a date with me," Castiel continued, remembering his last 'date' which turned into a babysitting gig.

"Cas, she already asked you out," Dean said. "A barbecue, yeah, but she still asked you."

He pulled Castiel back in front of the bathroom mirror, working on his hair some more.

"I have nothing to offer her," Castiel said.

"Sure you do," Dean said, stepping away. "You're bringing wine coolers. Girls love those."

He looked at his phone and said, "Buddy, we gotta get going. One thing's for sure. Girls don't like to be kept waiting."


	2. Those Tricksters

**Chapter 2: Those Tricksters**

 **Author's note:** Okay, so we bring Dexter into all of this. For those of you who watch the series, Dexter has baby Harrison. In the book series (which I adore) he has baby Lily Anne, so we gave him both :) Remember, this isn't a well thought out story-it's just my sister and me writing back and forth, but if you enjoy it, please let us know and I'll continue to type it up. Thanks!

Castiel's heart broke when they arrived through the backyard gate which was open for guests. Suzanna was already holding a wine cooler talking to two other men.  
"And that's how you know if your neighbor is _really_ piggybacking your wifi," one of them told her.

Suzanna laughed and nodded polietly and then smiled when she saw Castiel.

"Steven!" She moved to awkwardly and very briefly put her arms around his neck.

"Elaine loved the lilies," she told him.

Castiel smiled shyly and narrowed his gaze at Dean, who nodded in a thumbs-up kind of way. When Suzanna moved back, she turned to the others.

"Have you met the neighbors to the right of me?" She asked Castiel. "Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster?"

Castiel shook their hands. He introduced Dean and Sam. Another duo came out of the house, a man and a woman.  
"These are my roommates," Suzanna said. "Robby and Laura."

Robbie was the perfect example of every woman's dream. He looked like he was straight out of a magazine ad. He was handsome, well-groomed, and was wearing two polo shirts-one on top of the other, expensive looking shorts, and a gold watch. Laura looked like your classic feminist artsy woman and was a little bit chubby, but most of her weight was in her hips and boobs.

"Robbie's a cardiologist," Suzanna told them. "Laura's a painter."

"And what is it you do exactly?" Gus asked Suzanna.

"I work for an art gallery," she told him. "Laura helped me to get the job."

Shawn put a hand to his temple.

"Not just a painter," he said. "I'm sensing Laura is a sculptor as well."

Laura blinked and looked at Suzanna.  
"You told him?" She asked.

"No," Shawn said smiling. "She also didn't tell me you're into acupuncture."

Suzanna let out a beautiful, breathy laugh.

"Oh my gosh! That's amazing! How did you know?" She asked.

"Because I'm a psychic," Shawn said simply, and a little smugly. "I used to work for-"

"A private business," Gus interrupted, shooting him a look.

Dean and Sam exchanged wary glances.

"Psychic, huh?" Dean chimed in. "How does that work? Like you...tell the future? Peer into a crystal ball?"

Shawn looked at him and said, "I read the present, actually."

He put a hand to his head again.

"I'm getting shots...shots fired...a gun."

"A gun?" Robbie smirked. "This is Texas, Man. Who doesn't own a gun?"

"A very particular gun, an older gun," Shawn said. "A Samuel Colt gun. But you're no collector...not of guns..."

He went to work looking at every little detail on the older Winchester.

"You're very right to be so superstitious," he said, catching the grains of salt in the cuff of his jeans, the protection charm necklace and the small crystal hanging from his carkeys peeking out of his jeans pocket. "There are a lot of un-wordly dangers out there."

Sam looked flabbergasted and it took him a second to regain composure.

"Dean?" He asked, trying to sound casual. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Dean kept a wary eye on Shawn for a few ore seconds and followed his brother over to the pool.

"Dean, if this guy's a real psychic, he could help us," Sam told him.

"That guy?" Dean scoffed. "He's not psychic!"

"But he knew all of that stuff about you," Sam countered. "About Suzanna's roommate. That doesn't seem weird to you?"

"Yeah, but all the psychics we've met could see into the future," Dean pointed out.

Just then, a girl with dark hair and glasses came around through the gate holding a brown paper sack.

"Ding-dong," she greeted.

Suzanna smiled at her and said, "Oh, hey, Darcy. I'm so glad you could make it."

Darcy handed her the bag and Suzanna frowned slightly as she pulled out a jar of pickle spears floating in a fluorescent red liquid.

"They're Kool Aid pickles," Darcy explained. "They're really good."

Dean and Sam perked up, turning to back to the others.

"Did you say Kool Aid pickles?" Dean asked.

Darcy shrugged. "Look, it sounds weird, but they're pretty tasty."

"I haven't had one of these since I was a kid," Dean said, picking up the jar from the food table where Suzanna had set them down. He took one out and offered the jar to Sam, who shook his head warily.

Robbie and Laura had cooked Texas-style barbecue, which turned out to be amazing and Suzanna continued to offer dips and snacks and drinks to their guests. Castiel got the courage to inch his way over to her.

"You have a lovely yard," he said.

"Thank you." Suzanna smiled. "I'm hoping to start a flowerbed soon."

She held up a tray of dips and pates to him. "Hummus?"

"Um, sure." Castiel dipped a red pepper slice into the strong-smelling mush.

Dean continued to chow down on Darcy's pickles, and she approached him, grinning.

"Wow," she said, laughing.

"I used to love these as a kid," Dean explained. "I lived all over the place, and I can't remember where they were so popular."

"Army brat?" She guessed.

Dean shook his head. "No, but our dad traveled a lot for work."

Darcy nodded and the two of them stood there awkwardly while Dean sucked pickle juice from his fingers.

"Well, I'm gonna go grab some brisket, " Darcy said. "Go ahead finish the jar if you want."

Shawn glided over to where Castiel and Suzanna were talking. Castiel managed an almost smile at Shawn, giving all he had to be polite.

"Suzanna," Shawn said. "I must apologize. Gus ate all of your pepperjack cheese cubes. He's savage that way. But I also want to apologize for cracking your windshield."

Suzanna chuckled and said, "It's fine, Shawn. After a rock cracked my windshield on the highway, I've been hoping for a bigger one so the insurance company would finally fix it."

"I see," Shawn said. "Would you also like us to break into your house and steal everything so you can get new furniture?"

Suzanna laughed again, this time touching Shawn's arm. Castiel frowned at the touch.

"Shawn?" A nasal voice spoke.

They all turned to see the creepy cat neighbor.

"Hello, Jerry," Suzanna greeted.

"Thank you for inviting me," Jerry said, holding up a container. "I brought Jello salad."

"Creepy cat guy," Dean muttered to Sam. "Twelve o'clock."

Sam looked at Jerry, who was inspecting carrot sticks on the vegetable tray, smelling them and then putting them back. Sam made a face. He then noticed Jerry talking to Shawn in a hushed tone about a haunted house.

"Dean," he hissed, slapping his older brother on the shoulder. "Jerry owns the house on Ridge and Woodsong!"

"Jerry lives next door to us," Dean reminded him.

"He must have rent houses," Sam said. "He hired Shawn as a psychic to investigate."

"Ooh, a haunted house?" They both jumped a little to see Darcy standing right next to them, eating food from a paper plate.

"That sounds fun," she said. "Is that what you guys do? Hunt ghosts?"

The Winchester brothers laughed nervously.

"That's funny," Dean said. "Like we believe in ghosts."

Darcy shrugged. "I've seem some bat-crunk crazy in my life."

" 'Bat-crunk', huh?" Dean's brows furrowed and he looked at Sam. "Um, yeah, ghosts...only weirdos believe in that stuff."

Darcy chewed some potato salad. "What about Bigfoot? Aliens? Underpants gnomes?"

"You're weird," Dean told her, but he was smiling.

Darcy grinned. "Thanks."

Sam frowned at Dean and walked away. He waited for Shawn to finish talking to Jerry and then approached him.

"Hey, Man," he greeted casually. "That, uh, that psychic thing seems pretty cool."

"Thanks," Shawn replied, and looked around awkwardly when Sam said nothing else. For several seconds they were both silent.

"Okay, well, bye," Sam said, and walked away.

Juliet walked up to Shawn.

"Who was that?" She asked.

"Duck McGurken," Shawn told her.

"Who?"

"I have no idea."

Now that everyone was fixing plates and eating, Castiel made sure he was quick enough to land the spot next to Suzanna. When Darcy approached them, he forced himself to be a gentleman and stood up.

"Oh, no, Darcy said, waving the idea away. "You're cool, Steve-O."

She sat down beside the pool. Dean watched her from his spot standing next to Sam. Sam watched Shawn and Juliet, mostly Shawn.

"There's something up with her," Dean said, licking barbecue sauce from his fingers. "I can feel it."

"Oh, but nothing comes to mind about the creepy psychic guy?" Sam asked sarcastically.

"He's not psychic," Dean said simply.

"He knew about the colt, Dean," Sam pointedout. "How could he know about that?"

"Okay, Sam," Dean demanded. "What do you want from the guy, huh? Why do we suddenly need a psychic?"

"Hey, Fellas." Jerry suddenly interrupted, munching on a rib. "Great cook out, huh?"

"Um, yeah..." Sam managed to smile politely.

"I wanted to bring the cats," Jerry continued. "But they're beggars."

He chuckled and shook his head. Dean and Sam looked at each other uncomfortably.

"See this scratch on my arm?" Jerry, who always wore sweater vests and long-sleeved shirts, rolled his sleeve to show them. "That's where Big Bertha got me after I wouldn't share my deviled ham."

"Big Bertha," Dean repeated, nodding.

"And Buster Brown got me on the leg," Jerry said, raising up his pant leg. "Never eat chocolate pudding in front of a Maine Coon."

"So," Sam asked with a casual shrug. "You and Shawn know each other?"

"Hm?" Jerry blinked behind his old, eighties glasses. "Oh,yes! Shawn Spencer. He's doing some-" he winked dramatically. " 'Private work' for me, if you know what I mean."

Dean and Sam simultaneously frowned.

"I hope we don't know what you mean," Dean said.

"I'm trying to sell a house in town," Jerry explained. "But visitors keep telling me odd things occur inside-that they hear voices, see shadows. Mr. Spencer told me he can communicate with spirits so I've hired him to investigate the possibility of the house being haunted."

"Oh." Sam nodded. "Have you ever seen anything?"

"No, not once," Jerry said.

"Maybe it's a cat," Dean suggested with fake cheerfulness.

"Oh, no," Jerry said in all seriousness. "If it were a phantom feline, I would know."

Sam and Dean only stared at him, and then at each other.

"Nice talking to you, Jerry," Dean finally said, pulling his brother away by the arm.

"That guy is so friggin' weird," he muttered."

Castiel pushed his food around his plate with a plastic fork as Suzanna chattered away in her lovely voice with her dazzling smile. He couldn't keep up with what she was talking about because he was too caught up in her rich, brown eyes. He made sure, though, to laugh when she did.

"You speak French?" She asked, her brows furrowing slightly.

"French?" Castiel repeated, his mouth suddenly feeling dry.

"Yeah, I told you what my mother told the guidance counselor in French and you laughed before I could ever tell you what she said in English," Suzanna explained, a confused smile still on her face.

Castiel _could_ speak French, but only because language barriers meant nothing to angels, but he couldn't speak back necessarily. He just heard all language the same.

"A little," he replied neutrally.

Suzanna took a delicate sip of her iced tea and said, "I'm really glad you came. I mean, it's nice for neighbors to get to know each other, right?"

Castiel nodded, taking a bite of chicken. There was barbecue sauce on the corner of his mouth. Suzanna chuckled at him. Castiel looked like a confused dog. Suzanna handed him her napkin. Dean and Sam watched from a distance, proudly.

"Attaboy, Cas," Dean said, taking a swig from his beer he'd got from the ice chest.

"She's cute," Sam agreed.

Dean narrowed his gaze at him and asked, "What about you, Sammy?"

"What about me?" Sam asked.

"Now that we're 'settled down' are you gonna 'settle down'?" Dean used air quotes with his free hand.

Sam suddenly thought of Abigail and her adorable smile and small voice with a slight rasp to it. He bit his bottom lip and told his brother, "Shut up."

* * *

Carlton couldn't help but secretly feel better after the barbecue. It was nice to mingle with people, even if it wasn't the way he preferred. He was in the kitchen drinking a glass of milk, standing up at the counter when he heard someone else come in. He turned around a jumped nearly a foot in the air when he was it was O' Hara. He managed to slosh milk everywhere.

"Sorry." Juliet frowned. "Did I spook you?"

It was still very strange to catch her in night clothes. She continued to stare expectantly at him and he quickly reached for paper towels to clean up the mess.

"For God's sake, O'Hara," he said. "Put some clothes on."

"I am wearing clothes," she said.

Pajama bottoms, a t-shirt, and a cotton zip up sweater was hardly clothes, Carlton thought. She wasn't even wearing shoes. She was practically naked!

"Oh, leave the milk out," she said as he started to put it away.

Carlton roughly and awkwardly set the open gallon on the counter, causing milk to splatter again. He frowned and set his glass down.

"Oh, boy," he muttered.

As Carlton began to get more paper towels, Shawn breezed into the kitchen wearing a pair of onesie pajamas covered in geometric shapes. He handed Carlton the paper towels. Carlton paused, frowning at him.

"Oh, hey, Jules, "Shawn said, smiling at Juliet.

"What are you wearing?" Carlton asked him.

"My onesie," Shawn said, shrugging. "After all, what is WP without P&J?"

"WP?" Juliet repeated.

"Witness protection," Shawn said. "Well, Gus and are about to watch _Sixteen Candles_. Care to join us? I can't make any promises, but I'm sure there'll be a pillow fight."

Carlton sighed and muttered, "This is it. This is Hell."

* * *

'This is Hell', Dexter Morgan thought as his one-year-old daughter smeared strawberry ice cream in his hair.

Rita was at her weekly book club meeting for the evening and Dexter had all four children by himself-Astor, Cody, Harrison, and Lily Anne. Astor and Cody had long abandoned the dinner table and dishes and were upstairs minding their own business. Five-year-old Harrison was still working on his bowl of ice cream, spilling a lot of it down the front of his shirt. Lily Anne had gracefully managed to knock her entire bowl off of her high chair and onto the floor right after she'd painted with it.

"Harrison, go upstairs and tell your brother and sister to come help clean the kitchen," Dexter said as Lily Anne stealthily unfastened her diaper and peed on her father.

Harrison obediently jogged upstairs and when he returned he said, "Astor said she's in the shower and Cody said he's pooping."

"They're playing video games, aren't they?" Dexter guessed. He frowned when he felt something wet and warm on his shirt.

"Yup." Harrison casually went back to his ice cream.

Dexter sighed and bagged up the trash. Still holding a half-diapered Lily Anne, he took it outside to the bin and saw his neighbor across the street digging in the trunk of his old Chevy Impala. The inside of the hood was loaded with various weapons. Dexter frowned. The neighbor shut the trunk and turned around to wave. Dexter waved back and held up Lily Anne's hand to make it wave too. As soon as the neighbor's back was turned again, Dexter scowled menagingly.

"Dah-dee," Lily Anne babbled, snapping her father back to reality.

When Dexter went back into the house, he didn't see Harrison at the table. He put Harrison's bowl in the dishwasher and continued cleaning the kitchen. Lily Anne, now in a fresh diaper, played with pots and pans on the floor.

"Harrison!" Dexter called. "Bath time!"

He picked Lily Anne up and called again, "Harrison! Bath!"

He went upstairs to open Cody's door where Cody and Astor were playing some sort of fighting game on the Xbox.

"Where's Harrison?" He asked, looking around.

"He's not in here," Astor said, also looking around.

Dexter checked the room Harrison and Lily Anne shared and then Astor's room and then all three bathrooms. He went back to Cody and Astor's room.

"Help me look for your brother," he told them, and all three of them went scouting.

* * *

"A child snatching demon," Sam read online using his phone, scrolling through some information. "You think that could be it?"

They had just got word from their stolen police scanner that two children in the local area were missing. Dean was already packing up their hunting gear. He hated to be slightly excited about missing children, but he was tired of pretending the white picket fence life with a dog and a paycheck was enough for him.

"Luckily I haven't seen many kids in this neighborhood," Sam said.

Dean shook his head and said, "Not true. The dude that lives across the street has kids. A whole friggin' herd of 'em."

"Oh, yeah, Dexter," Sam said.

"You know him?" Dean asked, frowning.

"We leave for work around the same time," Sam said. "He's..."

"Creepy?" Dean finished his sentence for him.

"Yeah." Sam shrugged. "A little."

Just then the sounds of commotion were heard outside across the street. Sam and Dean both stood up and walked to the living room window. They saw Dexter's wife frantically charging through her front yard.

"How could you let this happen, Dexter?!" She shrieked.

Dexter was right on her heels.

"I was out of the kitchen for not even a minute! Will you try and stay calm, please?"

"Stay calm?!" Rita, the wife, whirled around to face him. "I am calm! I'm going to the police station to report this! Somebody took my baby..."

She burst into tears and leaned against Dexter. Dexter wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him. Sam and Dean looked at each other.

"Whoa," Sam breathed. "That demon doesn't waste any time."

Dean looked over at Sam. "You're telling me. We gotta find this thing."

They looked out the window again and stiffened. Dexter and Rita were still standing in their yard, Dexter holding onto Rita as she cried. Only his face was pointed directly at the window where Sam and Dean stood, and his piercing stare was aimed right at them. Dean slowly lowered the blinds. He turned to face Sam, but Sam was already away from the window sitting at the table. He looked up at Dean and said, "You were the one looking, not me."

"Did you see the look in that dude's eyes?" Dean sat on the couch. "He looked like he wanted to kill us."

As Dean and Sam loaded up their gear to go demon-hunting, they heard a knock at their front door. The brothers looked at one another and Dean moved cautiously to open it. He opened it a crack and then all the way when he saw it was Darcy.

"Hey," she greeted with a sassy little wave.

"Hey," Dean replied, trying not to sound so confused.

"Busy?" She asked.

"Um, yeah, actually, "Dean said. "About to head out for...work."

"What part of the plant do you work in again?" Darcy asked.

"Machinery, usually," Dean replied.

Darcy nodded and said, "They have you working with crossbows, I see. Sounds exciting."

Dean hid the crossbow he was holding behind his back.

Darcy held up her hands defensively and said, "Maybe some other time."

"Other time?" Dean raised an eyebrow.

Darcy only grinned and said, "G'night, Dean Winchester."

She walked away and Dean shut the door. Sam approached him and asked, "What was that about?"

His brother shrugged and said, "I have no idea."

Sam slapped his shoulder and said, "She's jail bait, you know."

"Yeah." Dean sighed. "I know."

They finished loading up their gear and carried the bags outside to the Impala.

"So what do we know about this child snatching demon anyway?" Dean asked, looking at the Morgan house across the street.

"Not a lot," Sam admitted reluctantly.

As the Winchester brothers headed down the road, a young woman running down the street called out something.

"Suzanna?" Sam said. "Pull over, Dean."

Dean pulled over and she ran up to the driver side window. It was not Suzanna, but looked a lot like her. Almost just like her.

"Hey," she breathed out.

"You okay?" Sam asked her.

"Have you seen a little boy? He's almost three, has dark skin, curly black hair-"

Sam and Dean exchanged looks. The girl ran a hand through her hair and said, "Oh, God. Liam."

"Your son?" Dean guessed.

"Kid brother," she replied. "Police are here, but I'm askin' around anyway. We just moved here. I'm worried sick."

"Fiona!" A man jogged up to her. "Just talked to the police. There's another kid missing on the same block."

He eyed Dean and Sam, but didn't ask who they were. Fiona allowed the man to embrace her.

"Jimmy, what are we gonna do?" She asked, close to tears.

"We'll keep an eye out," Sam promised.

Fiona nodded inattentively and called out, "Liam! Liam!"

Sam and Dean drove on.

"I wonder how many kids have already been taken," Sam said. "I just hope we're not too late and something terrible's happened to them."

Dean sped up.

"And then you just give a magic shake and a CLAP! And the birdie's back!" Gabriel, a sneaky angel, said, making the children squeal with laughter.

He held up little Harrison Morgan and tickled him.

"Oh, this is fun," he mused. "I should have been a clown."

He had twelve children in total. Soon enough, Dean and Sam would be on his scent after following the obvious clues he'd left for them and then he'd soak up their humiliation when they discovered it had been him. Plus, the kids weren't so bad either.

"Who wants to have a balloon party?" He asked, making balloons appear out of thin air as he snapped his fingers.

"Yay!" The kids jumped up and down, catching and tossing balloons.

"How are we even supposed to find this thing?" Dean asked. "I don't even know where I'm driving."

"Stop the car!" Sam ordered.

Dean slammed on the brakes. Ahead of them was a group of teenagers and older kids arguing with each other. The brothers could see one of them holding a little red jacket.

"Looks like we found our first clue," Dean said and leaned over to fish fake FBI badges out of the glove compartment.

The Winchester brothers stepped out of the car and Dean put on his most authoritative voice.

"Hey!" He boomed. "What's goin' on here?"

When he was ignored, he flashed his badge and Sam obnoxiously waved a flashlight around.

"Agent Maddox, FBI, break it up," he said.

"FBI?" A little girl of eleven or twelve asked.

"Ignore him, Debs," An older boy-maybe seventeen, eighteen-ish, told her.

"I'm sorry," Dean scoffed. "Did you just say 'ignore him'?"

The boy looked at him, completely unafraid.

"Yeah, I did," he said.

"We got a couple of missing kids out," Sam said, nodding his head at the little red jacket. "Where'd you get that?"

"It's our brothers," the girl said. "He's missing. We found it right over-"

"Debbie," another boy, a ginger one, shook his head at her.

"We're doing everything we can to find them, "Dean said. In a much more gentle voice, he asked Debbie, "Where did you find it, Sweetheart?"

"Okay, back the fuck up!" The first boy said, moving Debbie behind him. "You really expect us to believe you're FBI?"

"We _are_ FBI," Sam said, trying to keep a hard, stony face.

"Yeah?" The boy said. "Well your badges are wrong. Feds don't use that seal anymore."

"Where did you find the jacket?" Dean barked. He didn't have time to play twenty questions with these kids. _Other_ kids lives were at stake.

"Lip," the ginger boy said, taking the other by the arm. "Maybe they can help."

"We found it at the edge of that wooded trail that goes to the park," Debbie said.

* * *

"Shawn!" Gus hissed. "What are we doing?"

He and Shawn not so discretely slinked from bush to bush.

"We're solving a kidnapping case," Shawn replied. "And why didn't you wear black like I told you to? You're going to get us caught!"

"You're wearing a yellow t-shirt!" Gus pointed out.

Shawn rolled his eyes.

"All of my black clothes are dirty. Besides, if at least one of us had worn black, the one in yellow could be mistaken for moonlight," he said.

"That's Rita Morgan," Gus said, looking at a woman standing across the street on the edge of her driveway holding a baby and sniffling.

"Let's go talk to her," Shawn said, attempting to creep over.

Gus smacked him on the arm and Shawn stood upright and walked. They approached the weepy Rita.

"Hello, Rita," Shawn said in a gentle voice. "My name is Shawn Spencer. I'm the head psychic for the RRPD. This is my partner, Howlin Monkey."

Rita wiped her eyes with a Kleenex.

"Psychic? Those things really exist?" She asked.

Gus was busy making funny faces at baby Lily Anne.

"Did your son have any enemies?" Shawn asked.

Rita frowned. "He's five."

Shawn looked at Gus who was giving him an 'Are you serious right now' look.

"That's good," Shawn said, nodding and wringing his hands. "That rules out gangs and psychotic ex-girlfriends and the like."

He looked at Gus for help.

"Where was the last place anyone saw him?" Gus asked.

"Dexter-my husband," Rita said. "He said he stepped out of the house with Lily Anne to take the trash out and when he came back inside, Harrison was just gone."

She blew her nose and said, "We thought maybe he wandered off until we heard about the other missing children."

She broke down in tears again.

Shawn let his hyper-observant skills kick into high gear. Gus noticed what he was doing so he tried to question Rita further to stall for time.

"Do you keep the doors unlocked when you step outside? Any unlocked windows?" He asked.

Rita blinked. "I'm sue Dexter didn't lock the door because he was coming right back in, but all of our windows are locked."

Shawn pretended to have a vision. Meanwhile, Gabriel was watching this scene play out through a crystal ball. He liked crystal balls. They were just so tacky they were wonderful.

"Psychic, huh?" He said, bouncing a random toddler on his hip as the other children played with puppies he'd made magically appear. "This looks like a job for the Trickster!"

He blew raspberries on the toddler's tummy.

"Lil' Liam!" He exclaimed. "That's me!"

Shawn suddenly felt a jolt go through him-the same kind one gets when they're woken from a deep sleep and feel like they're falling. It made his head sting.

"Shawn?" Gus looked slightly worried.

Shawn suddenly had movie clip-esque thoughts that blurred through his mind at lightening speed, but somehow, he was absorbing all of it.

"Gabriel!" He said. "Gabriel took the kids! All twelve of them! It's a trap he set for the Winchesters!"

"Who are the Winchesters?" Gus asked, frowning.

Shawn could see Gabriel in his mind, letting the little abducted ones chase him around in some sort of one-roomed structure. The images pounded him like paint balls and he actually winced.

"Mr. Spencer?" Rita looked concerned.

"Excuse us for a moment," Gus said, pulling Shawn away.

When they were a good distance away, he dropped Shawn's arm like a hot potato.

"What was _that_?!" He demanded.

"I had a vision," Shawn said, gingerly touching the side of his head.

"That wasn't vague and mystical at all and where did you get that kind of information just by looking around?" Gus asked.

"No, Gus," Shawn said. "I think I had a real, honest to God vision."

Gus frowned at him. "You're not really psychic."

"Look," Shawn told him, sounding frustrated. "I can't explain it. At all. But I konw who took the kids. I know where they are. We have to find Sam and Dean Winchester."

"Who are Sam and Dean Winchester?"

"The brothers from the barbecue," Shawn said. "Tall dudes. They drive the Impala."

"You mean that noisy thing that probably gets terrible mileage?" Gus asked.

"Yeah, but it's a sweet ride," Shawn said. "Don't worry, Buddy. The Blueberry would smoke it in a race."

As they started down the sidewalk, Shaw had another series of images flash through his mind. More information.

"Were are we going anyway?" Gus asked. "And what makes you think you had a 'real' vision?"


End file.
